After we are born and grow up we start living our life, trying to be normal. We make big plans for the future and we want to be happy. Most of the circumstances in our lives are predictable, so we envision the picture of our life path.
A regular purpose of life it after school to enroll in the university, or/and find the dream job, marry the love of our life and have the perfect family, living in the dream house. Oh and the brand new convertible 🙂 We have planned everything but often things are not going in the same direction. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tragedy hits us and the course of our life changes dramatically in the opposite direction.
The moment of truth comes when we realize that not everything in life depends on us. And we start asking some questions like: Did I attract this? Was it already meant to be, was it faith? Was it a bad karma?
Precisely this unpredictable failures make us feel out of control and afraid. Afraid of what will happen afterwards? Will we be as twice as unhappy? Why things are not going the way we’ve planned? Are we the reason why we’re so unfortunate?
I have some friends who are so worried about the unpredictable future. They are afraid of life itself. What will happen in a year or two? They are extremely superstitious. One of them even goes to a numerologist every two months to see what will happen next? I tried so hard to explain to her that instead of looking for answers outside, she should first look inside her soul. Unfortunately she refuses, I realized that by searching for all the answers she somehow blames others of what happens to her – the astrologist, numerologist, clairvoyant etc. Not I don’t believe in the science, but some people are literally obsessed with it.
When you are obsessively afraid of the future you start leaving like a monk, saving every cent for the days to come, stop going out because something bad might happen (like get sick, or break your leg). You are afraid of losing your job, or a III World War, or some kind of natural disaster. You know what? – It is not your fault. It is the media and all the shocking news that makes us go crazy and panic. The truth is that fear stops us from taking some risks. We are not capable of making a change. Fear imprisons us.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I am good enough. And yet I know that right now, at this very moment I am perfect for myself. I am better than before, and hopefully will become better in the future.
Here are some tips in case you are obsessively afraid of the future.
Accept the inevitable.
If you are stressed out at some point, just take a deep breath, close your eyes and observe the fear, just accept it. Tell yourself it’s OK, this is the situation you are afraid of, but now that you’re here and you’re experience it – you’re not in control. Yes it makes you feel bad, angry and anxious but it will PASS, like everything in life. There is no point in warring about something that doesn’t depend on your will. As I have stated in my previous articles, what you think of, you attract. So there is a good chance you’ll attract more unpleasant situations and more fear.
We have to accept fear because if we run away from it, we don’t take responsibility of all the problems. We are refusing to stand out and fight for our freedom. Ask yourself – What if? What if the thing you’re most afraid of will happen? Believe me the World will not end. Life is precious and all troubles and worries are only in your head. Just relax and know that everything happens for a reason and during hard times, you are there to learn your lessens. Think back of the worst situations you felt miserable and ashamed of – weren’t those the best lessons in your life? Did they make you stronger and the person you are today?
Take small risks every day.
If you are afraid to take action because of the fear of what might happen, just do it. There is only one failure in life – the failure of NOT trying. If you are afraid of being honest with one of your colleagues, go there, make a conversation and be honest with him/her. You will be surprised how honesty breaks all past wrangles. If you are afraid of public speaking, next time take the microphone and say something, anything just confront your fears. This is the only way you can prove to yourself that you can do it. You can do anything, as long as you put a brave effort.
Embrace the unknown because it will bring you diversity. There is no growth in security. You will live a happy life only when you accept the good and the bad, when you fully enjoy every moment of it.
3.Believe in Yourself
Put yourself out there, and be OK with not knowing if people will accept you. Stick to a habit, not listening to the negative self-talk that normally holds you back. Learn through repeated attempts that it’s OK to fail, that you can be OK in failure. Learn through repeated experiments that you are stronger than you think, that you are more capable and more tolerant of discomfort than you think. Go into situations not knowing, and learn to be OK with that. And in this practice, you will find yourself. And realize that you were great all along.
4.Be in the Now
There are a lot of amazing benefits to being more present and mindful, but one of my favorites is this: you’re not missing the beauty and joy of the present moment.
Being present also helps you to see when you are feeling fear or resistance, uncertainty or the urge to procrastinate, anger or resentment … and then to work with those difficulties mindfully.
Many of us can point to external conditions that get in the way of being present (some problem on our minds), or that get in the way of being happy and content. But actually, the things that are stopping us are all inside us. We can’t let go of problems and be present. We are frustrated with ourselves, with others, with our situation, with the way the world is, and we can’t let go of wishing they were different.
f you want to prepare for the future simply be here and now. You can savor many things in the present moment, and your present self can enjoy the living daylights out of it. Your future self-will be thrilled.